Christians are straight up FREAKS
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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