shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
