That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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