You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
