Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
