also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
