I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
