you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
