Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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