Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
