This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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