she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
