We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
