absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
