you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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