I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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