I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
