he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
