it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
