I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
