Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
