you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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