"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
