This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
4 words: hood of his car
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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