Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So vagazzling was a success
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