So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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