Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
