where does the pee come out of this thing
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
