i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize