It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
