PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
