There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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