Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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