I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
