His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
