Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
