Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
