i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
