Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize