this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
