omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
