We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
