Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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