you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
