Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
