Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
