When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
