i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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