ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
third nipple confirmed
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
