It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
