Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
