I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
