Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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