guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
