Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
