every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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