Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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