I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
there is glitter all over my balls
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
