wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
