when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
