My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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