we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
