he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
